La Bona Dea's Journal of Everyday Magic

Storytelling which touches the heart and awakens the soul

To say “no,” allows for more YES in life

Blessings to you and yours at this cold and mighty Winter Solstice. The time of year when tradition once begged us to hustle and bustle, to meet-up, and party down. A season filled with laughter, hugs, and kisses or sharing hours in one another’s homes for meals and comforting visits. But not for Winter Solstice 2020.

This has been the year of Covid-19, the year we had to give up being together so we can all live to see each other next year. This has been the year to say “no.”

And yet, with all the “no’s” piling around me instead of gifts under the tree, I have listened to the words that follow after “no.”

“No, I haven’t been able to work. My job has been dissolved, so I learned something else to do, and I am quite good at it. When this is over I will have something new to do.”

My crafty hat



Some days were so boring I'd find the cat pouncing pine needles!

Some days were so boring I’d find the cat pouncing pine needles!

“No, I didn’t get to take that trip this year, but I figured since I am paying a mortgage on every square inch of property I own, I re-landscaped my back yard and I relax right here at home!”

“No, I don’t go into the office anymore, but I have been able to work at home. Now I get to enjoy my family and the days are much more pleasant. Did you know you can make plans and set up a meeting while you unload the dishwasher or dryer?”

Our Lovely Yuletide Tree

Our Lovely Yuletide Tree

“No, I wasn’t able to get my hair done, but I sure got to try out a new hairstyle for long hair. No, it didn’t look anything like I’d hoped, so when things opened up I made a dash to my hairdresser. Now I never have to wonder if I should let my hair grow out.”

“No, I haven’t been able to work, and it’s tough because I am self-employed. On a positive note, I have time for crafting, now I even have a website to sell my wares. When the county opens back up, I will be able to make a living at two things I love.”

“No, I can’t go to the gym, but I found out how pretty my neighborhood is by walking around the block! (20 times a day.)”

Because I write from home, I haven’t had too much change in my life, other than not being able to see my friends, priestesses, and hold live moon circles. BUT, I got to say yes to learning how to zoom, and learn to step into the modern age of technology with a microphone for my laptop. I feel so “with it” now.

Hand Gathered Solstice Bouquet--Note the many local evergreens!

Hand Gathered Solstice Bouquet–Note the many local evergreens!

Saying “no,” can make us feel like victims of circumstance, but I have the good fortune to be surrounded by wonderful women and family who accepted life’s challenge this year. “Take that, Covid, you may slow me but you won’t stop me!” has been the running theme.

So now this year comes to an end, it seems that there will be a vaccine against this nasty little bug and we will all be able to go back to normal… but so many people I spoke with, don’t really want normal.

Normal meant saying “yes” when you really wanted to stay home, stick to your diet, live within your means, sleep in, keep promises of self-care, and to spend time with who you really wanted to spend time with and go where you wanted to go.

So as this Winter Solstice comes to turn the wheel of the year, extend another journey on the wheel of life, I stand here and I challenge you with this:

Say NO more often while we step into the “norm.” Give yourself a moment and an opportunity–the gift to choose YES to something you really desire and something that will truly, with all its might, FILL YOUR SOUL!

As the sun takes a pause in the darkest sky, I bless your heart and ease your mind, that you, too, are allowed to take that pause whenever you want it or need it.


2020 took some special people and for me personally, my two adoring dogs. Each year that passes brings loss and they also bring gain. Change is never-ending, but it sucks when it is compounded by the limitations we have to accept when mourning, celebrating, and indeed, living.

Bella "Deedoh" 14 yrs. and the Fabulous Mr. Buddy Miles, 7 yrs.

Bella “Deedoh” 14 yrs. and the Fabulous Mr. Buddy Miles, 7 yrs.

But, I admit, 2020 also helped me work things over with my husband, and because we spent time together, we focused on what we want to build with our future, instead of being scattered in a plethora of directions that chewed up our valuable time to plan.

2020 was hard. It was hard to watch my kids struggle with new boundaries for working and living. I am so proud of my son and my two daughters who have embraced the shelter-in-place and respected the elders in our family by doing so. I respect also, my stepdaughter who has small kids; she and the kids’ dad had to make choices to keep them safe and give them the childhood they could enjoy. I appreciate my husband who went to work and made sure he came home safe to me each night.

Yes, Covid sucked, the year was a strange one, but the last turn of the wheel also presented odd and delightful gifts. . . what were some you received? I am sure they are there, and I hope you enjoy them throughout the following year.

May all the Blessings of Winter Solstice fill your hearth, home, work, play, family, pets, friends, and soul with the joyful and promising energy of the sun.

As the Goddess will, so mote it be!

My love goes out to each reader and I wish you a Blessed Winter Solstice 2020. . . and don’t forget to say “no” to make room for “yes.”

Cheers and festive days ahead, love
Tina Brigid, High Priestess xoxox

Me in the temple office

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